SO, YOU HAVEN'T FOUND "THE ONE"
Or you thought you did and then due to some unforeseen string of events, it's over. Leaving you uncoupled, unmarried and - regardless of your dating life - essentially unattached.
You want to find lifelong love, and you don’t want to settle.
I feel you.
You’re an intelligent woman with a free spirit. And if you’re like any of the countless singles I’ve known as either clients or close friends, you’re creative, professional, passionate and self-assured. You’re kinda awesome.
You have a life full of interesting people, inspiring adventures and ordinary moments of simple delight.
Yet, at times, the identity of still being single creeps up on you unannounced and with it, an unquestioned conviction – something must be wrong with you.
WHAT BEING SINGLE MEANS ABOUT YOU
You know that feeling when you’re the only single at a dinner party, when you run into your ex with his new love or when you realize, yet again, that all your siblings or close friends are paired with "their" person, except you?
If you've ever had that sinking feeling; that quiet shame or distress around being single it’s because, regardless of how great you are, to be frank: there is something wrong with you.
I KNOW WHY YOU'RE SINGLE
It’s because you’re not yet perfect like coupled people are. Married people (or their committed equivalent) are superior humans to singles.
Unlike you, people who have found a lifelong love never doubt themselves, are invariably optimistic, never needy, always interesting, possess unfailing self-love, and have flawless bodies. Before they met their partners, they were already the perfect combination of successful (without being intimidating), self-reliant (yet not too independent) and wholly open to love (without a touch a desperation).
All you need to do is love yourself – perfectly. And when you’re your “perfect you” your significant other will magically appear; it’ll happen just like it did for all those who came before you.
…if that sounds crazy, it’s because it is. It’s ludicrous. And yet notice how, in those sinking moments of self-doubt, this is often the internal narrative of shame masked as reason; this idea that we as singles are somehow inferior to our coupled counterparts.
INHERENTLY HUMAN AND PERFECTLY FLAWED
Yep, it could be us singletons are just like everyone else and not finding a lifelong partner isn’t a reflection of something negative or lacking within.
Which leaves me with a question for my fellow single ladies: who would you be without the thought that there’s something wrong with you?
“You don’t have to believe everything your thoughts tell you.”